Normally, I would put this on facebook

Give me my checkmark, Mark.

Cito Gaston requires little to no photoshopping

In August/September of 2009, my girlfriend took me to Fenway Park for a three-game series between the Blue Jays and Red Sox as a birthday gift.

For one of the games, we splurged on StubHub and picked up some very expensive tickets in row G, right by the visitors’ dugout. What resulted are some awesome close-up shots of some Jays, most notably Cito Gaston and Travis Snider, including this gem.

This is Cito, out of the dugout, presumably to confirm John McDonald’s entrance into the game at SS after coming on as a pinch runner for the injured Marco Scutaro. In the background, Canadian right-hander Scott Richmond is warming up.

Anyways, with a little bit of photoshopping: a tighter crop, some slight levelling to darken it a bit and a little less magenta and more yellow to bring out the green of the field, and you get this.

Cito Edit

 

Also, the Internet ruins my photos. This looked a lot better in photoshop.

It lives!!!

After 2.5 years idle, this blog has been resurrected for the purposes of a Master of Arts in Journalism class. Huzzah!

Why I’m going to win my fantasy hockey league this year

No, the answer isn’t JR, but rather the patchy-bearded and jersey-less pyscho who made the crotchety old man angry enough to get off his fireside rocking chair and try to play cowboy for a couple laps around the rink.

How to make 14.267 million New Englanders laugh until they cry like babies

I have nothing to say about this other than that I’m upset that Comcast won’t let me embed it. Anyways, send everyone you know here. Do it now. Make sure they watch the video.

The University of Texas: where future potential NFL stars learn to not like football

It seems just like yesterday when a former UT star was spurning his multi-million dollar contract to smoke a lot of pot in Indonesia and join to Toronto Argonauts to try to make back some of the bonus money he spent and was subsequently ordered to repay to his NFL team.

The last post about the Beijing Olympics, and it’s about girls

Jennie Finch here is my favourite Olympic athlete ever. When she showed up to the ESPYs that year in that black dress and went about her business of being all hot and stuff, I was intrigued. When she struck out Mike Cameron on a softball field, I decided that she would forever be the unobtainable love of my life. I also decided I wished I had gone to  a Pac-10 school.

Anyways, in Finch’s honour, here are the stars of the 2008 Olympics in this man’s opinion. Let’s keep in mind that this list is in no particular order, that it’s based purely on aesthetics, and that I’m a pig. Also, this only rule I’m going to go by is that these can’t be people that have been gushed over on ESPN before—so bye-bye to Maria Sharapova, Amy Acuff, Heather Mitts or Amanda Beard. Let’s dig in.

How to make 14.267 million New Englanders cry like babies

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this one represents a lot of swearing and elongated “A” sounds. And so, the collective population of Massachusetts and surrounding environs will wake up tomorrow morning and call Kansas City Chiefs safety Bernard Pollard “a bahhhstahhhhd,” as his hit to Tom Brady has probably ended the quarterback’s season with a torn ACL, Yahoo!’s Michael Silver is reporting.

Calgary and Edmonton working together?

Yeah, I know I’m commenting on stuff from last week still. But, I mean, I just have this one and then one more about the Olympics and then I’m done with all that, so I’d appreciate it if we could just move along.

Anyways, in a shocking and unprecedented showing of provincial unity, Edmonton and Calgary banded together to earn the right to host the 2012 World Junior Hockey Championships.

Chad Ocho Cinco: The world’s most loveable jackass

I kind of love the former Chad Johnson. I don’t get him, and he’s a world-class asshole, but I still kind of love him. I hate the man for the way he’s treating the Bengals (frankly, this subversive, passive aggressive shit that he’s been putting down is way worse than just coming out and implying your quarterback is gay in an angry tirade); I hate the man for his constant need to draw attention to himself; I even hated his golden mohawk. But I kind of love him.

So, in honour of the NFL’s decision to allow him to wear “Ocho Cinco” on the back of his jersey, here are my top five memories of the future first-ballot Crazytown Sports Hall of Fame inductee: