So in my very first post on this website, I made the mistake of linking to a photo of Diora Baird on a golf course, sadly neglecting the number one rule of the Internet: chicks attract pervs. Of course, that article has also been viewed like 230 times as opposed to the 11 my 1300-word Billy Packer opus has been, so I guess that means I should use chicks to drive traffic more often or something.
But, unlike the heaving masses of drool-sputtering troglodytes inhabiting the hypertubes, we aim for a higher calling here at Five Minute Minor. We believe it should only be for art, or to enhance the character or the plot, or at least have something to do with sports. As Ryan Smyth would say, it’s gotta have a purpose. (Note: this is where I would usually link or flat-out imbed the terrific Knob Hockey video I am referencing, but Heavy.com now owns knob hockey, and they pulled them all off YouTube, and I can’t find it on their piece of shit site. I also kind of wish I’d named this blog “It’s gotta have a purpose!”)
Anyways, while Diora Baird was neither Canadian nor naked, I’ve got a couple more pictures that have surfaced over the past week that takes care of that for me, but since they’re NSFW, you’ll have to find them after the jump. But I’ll give you a hint: there’s more cheerleaders touching themselves and each other.
This first one was snapped by an Ottawa Sun photographer during a Blue Jays/Yankees tilt at The Venue Formerly Known As Skydome this past week. It appears that a stag party was taking place in the Renaissance Hotel, which occupies much of the outfield. Anyways, these guys hired some adult entertainment for the party, and she can be seen lounging on the railing by the window in nothing but her thong, sipping her Becks, and holding what I’m sure is an intelligent conversation over just how tinted those windows are. Also, get ready to board the stereotype train, because this girl is full of them.
“The (stag hosts) told me that no one could see through it,” said the former SUNshine girl.
The 26-year-old grad student, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she has been working as a hostess for a few years to pay for school.
I don’t know what’s more surprising: that this girl is a former SUNshine Girl, that she’s a grad student stripping her way through college, or that she was naive enough to believe that the windows were tinted.
Anyways, I also love that she wants to remain anonymous, but later says:
“I am not ashamed of what I do, there’s nothing wrong with this … but not everyone knows I do this,” she said.”
So if you’re not ashamed of what you do, then why not give your name? Why are there people (and these must be people you care about) who don’t know you do it? Is it maybe because you are ashamed or embarrassed? Lord knows I would be if my fleshbags were in every Sun publication across the country.
On the bright side, the experience has apparently traumatized her so much that she’s quitting. I imagine getting a phone call from your grandma about what you were doing at the baseball game probably has that effect on strippers. And yes, I do feel kind of like an asshole for mocking a stripper like this; I’m not completely harmless.
On the bright side, as much as I hate the Sun, they do have a great rundown of all the sexual escapades that have taken place at the Dome over the years. Frankly, I’d have thought there would be more, though there are some gems, like this:
May 1990
During a Blue Jays game, hotel security and police throw out a man who was seen masturbating behind a hotel room window that overlooked the baseball diamond. Police said the man thought he was behind a one-way window.
But really, they’re all great. Highly recommended reading. Also, as an aside, I love how the newspaper titled the photo “boobs200.jpg”.
Cheerleaders, however, I have no such compunction against mocking, which is why I love the Winnipeg Blue Bombers’ Blue Lightening cheer squad (seen above touching the ta-tas and here putting the “ass” in neoclassical design)
So yeah, Don Chavez has a whole gallery of them, including one of the coach pulling thong. Hot. The Bombers have issued a statement to the CBC saying that none of the girls are still involved with the team (except, apparently the coach), and that the pictures were taken probably sometime in 2005 (which makes sense because that’s when Ottawa still had a team).
The best part of the CBC article, though, is when they add insult to insult by ending it with this little tidbit that otherwise has nothing at all to do with the story:
Winnipeg is winless in three games this season, and ranks last in the CFL in points scored (64) and points allowed (103).
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July 21, 2008 at 8:54 pm
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